you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
