get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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