Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
