i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
pray to the hookup gods
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
