Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
