Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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