Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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