So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
