If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
