Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Of course I have a pirate flag
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
