he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
