I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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