the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
