I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
