i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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