He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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