my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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