Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
