i barfeds in our rink
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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