belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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