I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
