Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
