is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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