I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
