we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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