I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I deserve this hangover.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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