and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
