So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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