I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
