She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
