Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
