bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
