We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
