so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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