life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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