We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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