I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
