Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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