she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
