Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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