SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
