i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
