Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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