Can Purell be used as lube?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
