Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
