party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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