Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
