Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
