You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
