Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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